It’s Not What It Looks Like

When my son was born things were pretty easy, we all went out to do groceries or any kind of shopping. But now that may daughter is here, grocery shopping with both kids is next to impossible. So we’ve worked out a schedule where every Saturday night my darling daughter and I head out on our own and do groceries, while my hubby stays home with our son. You’re probably wondering why I don’t send the hubby and our son… Our son can ask for things and groceries tend to be more expensive when he’s around. So when little miss and I go out it gives the boys some one on one time, and I get out pretty much by myself for a bit.

My pregnancy this time around was quite different, it was still easy with no complications, but I put on more weight, and dealt with normal symptoms like morning sickness, bloating and swelling. I found my fingers swelled up, not enough to notice but enough that I couldn’t wear my wedding rings. So I had become accustomed to not wearing my rings. Then baby arrived, the swelling went away, but I was so used to not wearing my rings that I never put them back on. Apparently that was a mistake, because when I started doing groceries with just the baby the looks and (not so) whispered remarks that I received were unbelievable.

I do my groceries at Walmart because they’re close, cheap, and they price match. But that also brings with it a certain type of customer in some cases. Our local Walmarts seem to have about 3 different type of shoppers. 1) the people that think it’s ok to wear pajamas outside the house, 2) the penny pinchers who for some reason think they’re better than everyone else, 3) the normal people that go about their business and not give a crap about what’s going on around them.

The second type of shopper are the ones that I’ve come across the most. There’s been a few different occasions where I’ve been out shopping and end up shaking my head after encountering certain people.

The first incident I had was at the end of a quick shopping trip on the way home from a midwife appointment.  An  elderly gentleman apparently felt the need to stop me in the middle of the aisle while I was heading for the door and made sure that everyone around us could hear him. I don’t remember exactly what he said to me, because quite frankly after the way he got my attention I only paid enough attention to know when he stopped talking. But the main idea of what he said was that I was a disgrace. How dare I think that’s appropriate to raise a child on my own, and to do it as a teenager was even worse. I heard enough to just respond with a simple “Actually I’ve been married for a year and a half and I’m 26.” Then I just walked away.

The next incident was actually a humorous pleasant occasion. As I was in line waiting to pay for my groceries a middle aged man joined the line behind me. Of course this was the one time my little sweetie decided to throw a complete fit, so I pulled her out of her seat and continued to unload my groceries with one hand. This delightful man not only helped me unload my groceries so they could be rung in, but then told me how wonderful a job I was doing at being a mom and that it can’t be easy to be so young and to be doing it on my own. The best part… He then offered to pay for my groceries. I filled him in on how my hubby was at home with our son, I then thanked him for the kind words and the offer but I couldn’t let him buy my groceries.

The latest incident happened only just last week. The 4 of us went for a quick shopping trip to get the final things we needed for Easter weekend. We had paid and we’re heading to the car. I had both kids in the cart, and my hubby was making a quick stop at the lottery desk to get a ticket for that night’s draw. So I headed for the car to get the kids in and put the groceries in. My hubby was the one that noticed what happened. After walking past apparently a woman gave me a very dirty look, then turned and rolled her eyes and shook her head to her husband. My hubby said he couldn’t helped but laugh and think “Yeah she’s getting into a $45,000 van…she’s clearly a single mom to 2 kids.”

I can’t decide which is the worst part of any of those encounters was, the fact they all just assumed I was a single mother, the fact that only one was polite and offered assistance, or the fact that 2 of them seemed to think that being a single parent is so terrible.  No one wants to be a single parent, it’s not something someone strives for when they decide to have children. But if that happens to be their situation it’s for a reason that is frankly none of your damn business. So maybe take a page out of the delightful man in scenario 2’s book, be nice, tell them they’re doing a great job you never know they could be in the middle of a terrible day where the kids aren’t listening and nothing is going right. When it happened to me, my day was going just fine, but that didn’t mean I needed to hear those words any less.

So just because you think something is a certain way doesn’t mean it is, and if your one of those crazy judgmental people that constantly looks down at everyone else….. I suggest you just keep your mouth shut, because not everyone will be civil in return.  Believe me, if I was a single parent and had to deal with those situations, only one of the 3 people I encountered would leave with their dignity in place.

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“Mommy sister’s sad!”

I had been struggling to figure out a topic for my first big post back after my daughter was born for a couple days, but after the past 24 hours and reading an article on Huffington Post it all got sorted out in my head.

The article I read was called “Mommy, Somebody Needs You“. The writer talks about what it was like when they brought their newborn daughter home, and any time she made a sound their older child would yell “Mommy somebody needs you”. She said it started out really cute then started to get annoying. While I read it I couldn’t help but laughed at how true it is. My son has been amazing since his sister was born, but every little noise she makes (especially the rare occasions when she starts crying) my son jumps to pointing out “Mommy sister’s sad”. It really started out cute, he didn’t want to see her sad and would get a bit upset himself when she was upset, which never helped the situation but I would drop everything and attend to their needs. After a couple weeks of hearing “Mommy sister’s sad” followed by some whining from my son it started to wear on me, he’d get a quick “Yes Clark I can hear her” the moment the words came out his mouth.

But just like the author of the article I came to realize how nice it was the hear those words, and know that the moment I would turn around and give my son a hug, and pick up my daughter that the fussing would stop and everything would be all better. It’s not going to be like that for much longer, my kids won’t admit that they need me even though I know they will. They won’t let me know when the other is sad, and a hug won’t necessarily make everything better right away.

So just like the author, I’m going to take it while I can. No matter how many times I hear that phrase come out of my sins mouth, I’ll still do the same thing every time, drop everything and give them a hug and a kiss.

As a parent you learn early that your kids will stop needing you, they just won’t admit it.

A Mommy Confession

On Sunday, February 8th, 2015 at 2:10am my life changed.  After 41 weeks of waiting I was finally a mother of 2, a mother to a brilliant young boy, and a brand new gorgeous baby girl.  It was a quick labour and delivery, and the moment she was placed in my arms I was awestruck.  She was beyond words.  So perfect, it terrified me.  I had thought about it for the last 9 months, what it would be like to be a mother to a little girl.  I was just starting to get used to being a mom to a little boy, the bumps and bruises, the hot wheels, the superheroes, all of it.  Now I was being thrown in to a whole new realm of motherhood.

I’ve never been overly “girly” myself.  Not saying that my daughter will grow up to be girly, not saying she won’t grow up to be a tomboy like I was.  I have no idea what she’ll grow up to be like, but as long as she’s happy with who she is I couldn’t be happier.

When you become a parent you are subjected to the worst kind of pressure, helping someone develop and grow in to their own person.  For me it’s scary to be a mother to a little boy, but I can only influence so many aspects of his life.  His father will be the one he looks up to, who he’ll want to grow up to be like.  But now I have a little girl, a smaller version of me.  I’ll be the one she looks up to, I’ll be the one she’ll aspire to be like, at least I hope so.  I have to be the best I can be, better than the best.  I want her to know that she can come to me no matter what, for anything she wants.

It’s been 11 days since my sweet girl was born and I’m already terrified that I’ve let her down in some way, I know I haven’t, but it’s still scary.  When she’s old enough to understand the things I’ve done, I can only hope and hold my breath to see what she chooses to do with the things I teach her, and the things she learns from me on her own.

Ask any parent. There’s nothing scarier than being a parent. There’s so much pressure. Ask them if it’s worth it.  They’ll all tell you the same thing.  Absolutely.  I would take this life over the complete opposite any day of the week.  There will be days when they’ll make me want to pull my hair out, but those are the best days, those are the days where I can show them the best of who I am, and who I can only hope they can be.

So what’s my big confession you make ask.  I’m a mother…and it scares the crap out of me.  I will be scared for the rest of my life, and I’m totally alright with that.

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Home Birth Essentials

Now that we’re in the middle of January that means I’m 37 weeks along in my pregnancy with my little girl.  Which means I’m now officially full term, and could go in to labour at any time.  Luckily I’ve been ready since 35 weeks and have just been waiting it out.  The house is ready, nursery is all set up, her clothes and blankets have all been washed, and I even have a little baby station set up in the living room.  Last week I gave you some tips on how to prepare the house and family for a new addition.  This week I’ll fill you in on how to prepare yourself for labour and delivery.

I’ve been lucky enough to have very easy pregnancies, and my labour and delivery with my son was pretty much flawless. The moment I popped him out my midwife looked at me and said, “Next time you’re doing all this at home right?” I said “Sure we’ll give it a try.” So now I’m following through on my promise to her.

I know not a lot of people choose this option. But I’m super excited for it and can’t wait to experience it.  Some of the things you need can also be transferred to a regular hospital birth and included in your hospital bag. I’ll give you a couple of lists for what you’ll need, some of which you need to get yourself if you opt for a home birth, and some of which are provided by your midwife.

Your midwife will provide you with a birth box, inside they included everything they’ll need to provide you and baby support during labour, delivery, and directly after birth. A few of these things you’ll need to pull out to put in your emergency hospital bag which I’ll discuss later.
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On top of that there’s a few things you’ll need to gather and keep with the rest of the birth supplies.
– 4-6 pillows
– 2 medium glass or stainless steel bowls (one in case you become nauseated and one for afterbirth)
– 4-8 older wash cloths
– 6 large clean older towels (to wrap baby in after birth)
– 6 receiving blankets
– hot water bottle or heating pad
– a loose gown or something comfortable to wearing during labour and delivery
– 1 large Dutch oven or large stainless steel pot, or crock pot (to put hot water in for one compresses)
– hydrogen peroxide (helps remove blood stains)
– large pack of overnight (heavy flow) sanitary pads
– digital thermometer
– large roll of paper towel (kept in wrapper till needed)
– fresh supply of batteries for flashlights
– soft toilet paper for the next few weeks after birth
– 2 newborn sized hats
– pain relievers (Tylenol, Advil, or Gravol) to help you rest after labour

Needed for Baby
– diapers
– Vaseline (to keep the meconium stools from sticking to baby’s skin)
– variety of clothes (cleaned and ready)

Emergency Hospital Bag
In case something comes up and you need to transfer to a hospital it’s good to have a small bag prepared and easy to access, a few of these things the midwives will use so they can just work out of if.
– stretch panties (from birth box)
– squeeze bottle (from birth box)
– green pad (from birth box)
– herbal bath (from birth box)
– housecoat and comfy clothes for after birth (a night gown would be a great option in case of a c-section)
– slippers to wear in the halls
– nursing bra and nursing pads
– sanitary pads
– going home outfit for baby, including hat and scratch mittens (if you end up being stuck in the hospital longer than expected someone can bring you more items)
– a few diapers, hospitals generally give you a small pack while you are there so you won’t need many
– Vaseline

A lot of the things you need are already lying around the house, and the few things that aren’t you can easily find at the dollar store.

Another thing needed for people having baby #2 (or with pets) is a baby sitter. Someone to look after the older sibling, to keep them occupied while you’re in labour, or take them away if things get really intense and you don’t want them around, or to stay with them if you need to be moved to the hospital. My in-laws are being notified the moment I go in to labour so they can come take care of Clark (especially if it’s in the middle of the day), if it’s at night and he’s sleeping through everything we might hold off till the second midwife gets called just before delivery that way if he wakes up from any possible noises I might end up making they can sit with him in another room till its time to introduce him to his little sister.

I know home birth sounds scary, but (from what I’ve been told by experienced home birthers) it’s very relaxing and less stressful (fewer worries of needing medical interventions). Being in your own surroundings will keep you at ease, play music that makes you happy or keeps you calm.

To anyone thinking about having a home birth I promise to post later about how my experience went and my thoughts on the whole process. Anyone already planning a home birth and stuck on what you need to have ready…I hope this helped.

For the next few weeks I will be away from the page, Bonnie will continue to post, and once my little girl arrives I’m sure there will be an announcement. I’ll return a couple weeks after she’s born once I’ve settled in to the life of being a mother of two.

Enjoy the next few weeks of the new year! Can’t wait to share the news of baby girls arrival with all of you!

Our Lives in a Nutshell

So. We’ve decided to start something new every month. We realized we haven’t really shared all too much about our lives, just small things that go on, like how we plan for things. So from now on, the last post of the month (or first post of the new month will be a summary of what’s been going on in our lives lately. Hope you guys enjoy the brief glimpse into our lives!

Sarah’s September
So this month has been a little hectic in my house. On the long weekend we started a small renovation, turning our big basement bedroom in to two rooms by adding a wall, so that our new addition that arrives in February will have a room. So the framing for that is up now. Shortly after that we had a big morning, it was the ultrasound where we were able to find out if Clark would have a little brother or little sister. (I’ll reveal that little tid bit at the end).
Then it was big days for the who clan, my nephew started grade 1, my niece started JK, and I started babysitting my youngest niece while her siblings were at school. That’s been quite the change to get adjusted to (mostly for Clark, but he loves having a play mate).
Overall it’s been a fairly uneventful month in our house. Just trying to get more things ready for the new little, my hubby working overtime (to afford everything for the little one, goodness babies can be expensive). But we’re all looking forward to getting more things done around the house next month. Once the babies room is all done (or we’ve at least made more progress) I’ll do a post all about it and why we chose to do it the way we did.

Hope everyone had a great month!

So I said I’d reveal the big secret of whether we’re having another little boy or a new little girl. Well …. Here’s the answer!

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Bonnie’s September

So, as I told everyone earlier, I was at Fan Expo 2014, over my labor day weekend. And as much as I love the weekend, I don’t think we will be going back for a few years. Due to it’s popularity, and expense, the weekend is just too much. Don’t get me wrong we had a blast, but taking a few years off might be a good idea. BUT! I will have to say, if Joss Whedon comes back, all bets are off!!!! Right Sarah?

The first week of September was vacation, we had a few contractors in for renovations we want to do in the future, and crunched some numbers. We went home for a few hours one day, took my Mom and Grandmother out to dinner. But over all it was a great stay-cation.

The second week, well that turned everything upside down for me. I started my second college degree. Now, I am only taking one course this semester, but honestly it’s taking it’s toll. A full time job, and a a detailed course where something is due each week, and if something isn’t due there is a test. I will admit I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. Work is gearing up to be crazy now too, with certain projects coming to a close, and into play before our busy season starts. January also marks my fiscal year’s end, so I am gathering all that info now, so not to be scrambling over the Christmas holidays. I am proud to say, that so far, I have an A+ in the class, but I am sure that is going to change a bit over the semester.

We started a new tradition in my boyfriend’s family in September, we usually try and get together once a month, for dinner or something, but we have decided that it is now going to be on a Friday evening from now on. We went up the third week in September, and we picked our date for October when we were there. I am hoping that this will make for a consistent visit schedule, and we wont always be changing plans to be able to make it to family events.

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On a sad note, my in-laws had to put the beloved family dog down. At 13 King or as I like to call him Kingdom, had a great life with us. He had a stroke, and his quality of life was just not 100% any more. We all got a great good last night with him when we went home for the family night.

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But on a happier note, I LOVE October, one of my all time favorite months. With Canadian Thanksgiving, and Halloween (my all time non-favorite holiday.) I am sure I will have some stories to tell in November.

 

 

 

Housewife Confessions!

As “housewives” we have to deal with a lot.  From cooking, cleaning, raising kids, or working full time, it’s hard to find time for anything.  Each month well share some of our secrets, whether it’s things we absolutely hate or have trouble with, or the secret tips and tricks we have to get everything done.

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Bonnie’s Confessions

I have to say one of my biggest flaws as a housewife is getting motivated to do things around the house after work. I work a 10 hour day on a regular basis, and as the administrative assistant/accountant/HR person for my business I do work more than that after I get home. I can’t tell you how many times Sarah and I will be talking on line, and I admit I have more work I have to do, at 10PM at night.
What I need is a system to help me get through the chores I want to do. I want to be an awesome housewife for my guy, but at the same time, I want to be able to relax and enjoy the rest of the day.
I’ve begun a routine, in which the second I get home, I put on the timer before I do anything. I have set it for 15 minutes, and in that 15 minutes I get the most pressing things done. One of those pressing things is sweeping. (I have a long and a short haired cat, and I swear they shed enough to make another 5 cats between them.)
This seems to be working for now, as I am satisfied with the results it is giving, but at the same time, I want my house to be clean and presentable.
I find that if I make a cleaning schedule, that things either get over looked, or I still avoid the things I hate doing (like the bathtub). We have a schedule for laundry, and for meals, I don’t understand why a cleaning schedule doesn’t work for us, but it doesn’t.

Another problem I have is CLUTTER! I hate to say this but my mom was one of those women who just let things sit where they sat, and not had a home. There are days when I want my house organized to the letter, but then there are others where I couldn’t give a damn about the sock in the middle of the living room, that neither my boyfriend nor I seem to want to claim as ours. (Mind you the cats love chasing them around the house, so that also might be a part of that lone sock). Much like the motivation thing, I want to get this under control, and these two kind of go hand in hand, as if I had the motivation, I would clean up the clutter! I haven’t found a solid solution for the clutter other than throwing things out. But I have kept them for a reason, and that is the problem I can talk myself out of throwing anything out, with even a little bit of sentimental value.
Just to give you an example: LOOK at my cookbook collection, and that is only about half of it. Have I cracked a single one open in the last year? No. But a lot of these were gifts, and I don’t have the heart to give them to good will.

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So that is my portion of our confessions, something a little different. If you enjoyed this post let us know in the comments, or give us some ideas on how we can change the things in our lives that seem to annoy us the most.

Sarah’s Confessions

There are quite a few things I hate about being a “housewife”.  I don’t want to ever be considered to be the women that walks around her house with her hair and make up done, looking fancy with an apron around her waist, while her perfectly pleasant children sit quietly reading a book in the corner.

My house is more often than not clean, at least there are no toys scattered on the floor (at least not in the living room).  I always sweep up or run the vacuum through the house after my son has gone to bed, get the dishes done, and put everything away to prepare the house for the chaos that will ensue the next day.  However, if you give me an hours notice that you’re coming to visit, I spring in to action and you’ll see a completely spotless house when you get here.  Ask anyone that has been in my house, it’s never messy when they see it.  That being said my worst habit comes with laundry and dirty dishes on the weekend.

I don’t mind doing laundry, it takes so very little effort it’s hard to complain about. Until it comes time to fold it all. I DESPISE folding laundry, I’ve always hated it.  It doesn’t help that I can spend half an hour folding all of my husbands t-shirts, and matching up his socks just for him to undo all the work I’ve put into it by pulling out the shirt at the very bottom of the pile.  I swear, my husband has  good 15 shirts in his drawer…. but he only ever wears the same 7 shirts. That’s my biggest pet peeve ever! We spend the money on all these shirts and he never wears them.  So with my absolutely hatred of folding clothes all our clean clothes tend to sit in the basket waiting to be cleaned…luckily nothing we own needs to be ironed.  This summer we’re finally going to put up a clothesline, so hopefully that will motivate me to fold everything.

Next thing is dishes.  I do dishes every night all week long, that’s never a problem.  But come the weekend we usually eat out or at a family members house for dinner, so we don’t make a lot of dishes on the weekend, but we still have a pretty good pile by the end of the weekend.  It’s not that I can’t do them, it’s just after a whole week of doing them while my husband is working, I sort of hold out hope that he’ll do his part and take a turn at them on the weekends, just like waking up with our son on weekends…neither of which I’ll hold my breath for.  I think the best way for me to overcome this problem, is to  just eat at home more on the weekends, that way I actually have a decent amount of dishes in the sink at the end of each day to the point where if I left them for 3 days we’d run out of dishes.