Who makes the cut?
You and your fiancé want a nice simple small wedding… but your mom wants you to invite the neighbours and her co-workers and his mom wants you to invite his second cousin three times removed. Where do you draw the line?
My fiancé and I had a tough time trying to figure out who to invite. If we had the money we’d invite everyone we know, but we definitely can’t afford that. My fiancé and I went with a simple rule, if they know both of us, then they can be invited. Which meant that most of his family wasn’t invited, he only knows a couple of his cousins so it was a no brainer that they, along with their families, would be invited. We also only really know one of his aunts and one of his uncles, so they were also invited. Then it came to my family, this was where my dilemma was. I would have loved to invite my whole family, but like I said it definitely wasn’t in the budget. So I went with all of my aunts and uncles, and then added the cousins and their families on my mom’s side, I had been invited to all the weddings on that side of my family so I figured it was only fair to invite them to mine (along with me wanting them to be there). The tough part was cutting the cousin’s on my dad’s side of my family, it was the hardest thing I ever thought I’d have to do, and I hope that no one is ever required to cut family from their guest lists. The reason I took them off my list was because I only just reconnected with them over the past 2 years (since my son was born) and I was only invited to one of the weddings on that side.
The key when making your guest list, from what I found, is to go with your heart. If when you first get engaged and someone automatically pops in to your head about who you HAVE to have at your wedding, put them on the list.
The other way is to base your final venue on the number of people it can hold. We had originally gone with a smaller venue to keep our numbers low, but like I had mentioned in a previous post we had to switch venues to a larger place, which in turn bumped up our numbers.
If your parents start pushing for you to add more people to your guest list but you can’t afford it, the way I handled it was to tell them that if they wanted those people there so badly they can pay for them. That seemed to change their tune nice and quick. And for the people who think they deserve to be invited, even though you haven’t seen or spoken to them in years, just tell them you have a small venue and it’s going to be a quiet intimate affair with just family.
Everyone you invite will be honour that you want to share your special day with them, so have no regrets about your list. What I’ve been telling myself over the past 9 months of planning is that as far as I’m concerned, if my fiancé and my son are the only ones to show up, then so be it, they are the most important people in my life and as long as they are there the day of, I don’t care about who else is there or what goes wrong.